Not Two Trees, But One

When we first "fall in love" it's as if a powerful wave is crashing to shore.  It knocks our legs out from under us and carries us with the current.  But have you ever noticed how quickly that wave subsides and pulls back out to the ocean?  Many relationships and marriages crumble as that tide of emotion leaves and the feeling of being carried by the current passes.  A kind of stranded feeling remains...one of not being well rooted and grounded.  There is no sure footing remaining, strong enough to hold a couple together.

Louis de Bernierès said, "Love erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.  And when it subsides, you have to make a decision.  You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together, that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.  Because this is what love is.  Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.  Love itself is what's left over after being in love has burned away.  Your mother and I had it.  We had our roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossums had fallen from our branches, we found that we were one tree and not two."

Beautiful words and so true.  But the work that it takes to get to that place seems to be too much for many people.  In order for roots to grow deep, pruning must take place and we don't like to be pruned.  Maybe our spouse has stronger places than we do.  Maybe when the droughts come, we don't want to withstand the heat and the dryness.  Maybe when it's cold and our branches freeze over with ice, it's too painful.

My marriage has certainly withstood the test of time.  We have weathered storms that we thought might break us.  But as we have faced each storm or dry spell, we always turned to the One who makes our union holy.  Our Heavenly Father has always been the Rock that we could go to when we needed to be touched by love.  Crying out to Him was what watered our roots and gave us our strength.  Learning how to forgive and bestow mercy...and receive mercy...it has caused our roots to grow together and make us, not two trees, but one.  And when our last blossums have fallen and all leaves are on the ground, we will still have our gloriously strengthened roots.

That kind of relationship is so beautiful and fulfilling.  We are ever watchful for those waves that come crashing in, sweeping us away for a moment, refreshing us, catching us up in rapturous moments of passion.  And then we are left with our roots so intertwined that we are cannot be separated.   Are you willing to go through the hard seasons, depending on prayer, hope and faith, to see you through or is it just easier to give up and look for someone else to sweep you off your feet in the next wave of passion?

From His lap,