Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Not Two Trees, But One

When we first "fall in love" it's as if a powerful wave is crashing to shore.  It knocks our legs out from under us and carries us with the current.  But have you ever noticed how quickly that wave subsides and pulls back out to the ocean?  Many relationships and marriages crumble as that tide of emotion leaves and the feeling of being carried by the current passes.  A kind of stranded feeling remains...one of not being well rooted and grounded.  There is no sure footing remaining, strong enough to hold a couple together.

Louis de Bernier√®s said, "Love erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.  And when it subsides, you have to make a decision.  You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together, that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.  Because this is what love is.  Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.  Love itself is what's left over after being in love has burned away.  Your mother and I had it.  We had our roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossums had fallen from our branches, we found that we were one tree and not two."

Beautiful words and so true.  But the work that it takes to get to that place seems to be too much for many people.  In order for roots to grow deep, pruning must take place and we don't like to be pruned.  Maybe our spouse has stronger places than we do.  Maybe when the droughts come, we don't want to withstand the heat and the dryness.  Maybe when it's cold and our branches freeze over with ice, it's too painful.

My marriage has certainly withstood the test of time.  We have weathered storms that we thought might break us.  But as we have faced each storm or dry spell, we always turned to the One who makes our union holy.  Our Heavenly Father has always been the Rock that we could go to when we needed to be touched by love.  Crying out to Him was what watered our roots and gave us our strength.  Learning how to forgive and bestow mercy...and receive mercy...it has caused our roots to grow together and make us, not two trees, but one.  And when our last blossums have fallen and all leaves are on the ground, we will still have our gloriously strengthened roots.

That kind of relationship is so beautiful and fulfilling.  We are ever watchful for those waves that come crashing in, sweeping us away for a moment, refreshing us, catching us up in rapturous moments of passion.  And then we are left with our roots so intertwined that we are cannot be separated.   Are you willing to go through the hard seasons, depending on prayer, hope and faith, to see you through or is it just easier to give up and look for someone else to sweep you off your feet in the next wave of passion?

From His lap,

27 comments:

  1. Beautiful Erin! Thank you for the reminder! I have seemed to long for that human touch, when His love and touch is so much more and should be what I yearn for. Love ya. Lisa

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  2. Dear Erin,

    Thank you for this beautiful, meaningful blog. My husband and I were married almost 21 years. There have been times of bitter cold, but we have learned that bare branches blossoms again, by God's grace. There is certainly hope for marriages that are not what they were. Although there still is deep love betwee me and my husband ... there are times when I even fall in love again -)

    Thank you for this topic

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  3. Julie,
    I'm so glad you visited and enjoyed the post.
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

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  4. Lisa,
    I know that feeling, Lisa. God fulfills every need for love and He seems to nudge my hubby when I need an extra touch from him as well!
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

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  5. Jedidja,
    Amen and amen! I love those moments when I look over at my husband and a wave of love washes over me! Thank you so much for stopping by. I always look forward to hearing from you!
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

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  6. Erin, this speaks truth to me this evening. The past three years have been filled with overwhelming and destructive emotion in my life. It has been a choice and a whole lot of effort and prayers for me to turn those thoughts and feelings into something fruitful. However, there are still moments of ackwardness that fill me with anger or resentment. Today is one of those says when I have to choose to give fully of my love and trust God to plant it firmly in my marriage.
    Thank you for this.
    Love you,
    Rosann

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  7. Boy, don't we all have times like that, Rosann! That's when we have to dig deep and rely on the promises of God, which are "yes and amen." He doesn't promise it will be easy, but the effort and the time we devote to our marriages is well worth it, isn't it!!
    I love you, sister!
    ~Erin

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  8. Thanks for the refresher or attention-getter, Erin. This was a very good post because I spend so much time trying to work my 11 hr day job, as well as squeezing as much lap top work, that it is very easy to retreat to "our" sections of the house. You know?

    -Jimmy

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  9. Great post Erin! sometimes it is so hard to keep the faith especially when you keep praying and your still waiting. You just keep asking when is it my turn Lord? You just have to keep the faith.

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  10. Jimmy,
    It's really hard with all the responsibilities we face today. Somehow, we all have to figure out a way to make that special time, to renew those feelings and to be loved!
    I'm so grateful that you stopped by, Jimmy.
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

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  11. Boy, isn't that the truth, Irene!! Patience and knowing that God adores us helps.
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

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  12. Very timely for me, Erin. I will revisit this post. While the main concept of one tree not two will stick with me (the visual of strong intertwined roots), there are a many more ideas that I went to cement in my mind. Thank you so much for giving this work...these ideas could save many relationships:)

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  13. erin, i feel like your posts always speak to me in such a way...as if you heard the thoughts running through my mind. steve and i were just talking the other night about how our trials have made us stronger. held us closer together, if even it didn't feel like it at times.
    thank you for always voicing such beautiful words.

    and thank you for your kind words on my last post. i truly appreciate your thoughts and prayers <3
    lots of love,
    maria

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  14. Erin

    Thank you for dropping by my blog. Am sorry I didnt get to visit earlier but it's better late than never, right?

    Lovely music you have gothere. I like it

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  15. Suzanne,
    I'm so glad that this post blessed you. Relationships are hard work, but part of that hard work is taking time out to play!!! I'm glad you are coming back!
    xo,
    ~Erin

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  16. Maria,
    I hope that you and your family are doing well. You've been in my thoughts. It is quite obvious to me that you and Steve have a wonderful relationship. I can also tell that you two keep the lines of communication open and are very tender with each other. That is a blessing to see!
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

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  17. Kucing,
    I'm so glad you stopped by! I'm glad you enjoyed the post and the music.
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

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  18. Beautiful post! Celebrating 13 years of marriage this year... your words are so true. Marrying my high school sweet heart, there has been a lot of growing together as we've gotten older.

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  19. We've been married 21 years. I'll gladly weather the storms with my man than risk another relationship with a weaker tree! "Divorce is a copout. Marriage is worth it!"

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  20. New follower here! Thanks for following mine to. I LOVE...LOVE...LOVE your site and the meaning. you also are very lucky to have a hubby that shops. Thanks for the follow back. I appreciate it. http://hotsavinmama.com. I also have another site calle Forever A Teen Fashion Finds, it shows of my store to and savings, etc. :D Which I love! http://foreverateenonline.blogspot.com/

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  21. Tara,
    That's so wonderful that you married your childhood sweetheart. You must know everything there is to know about each other. Your roots should be strong and deep.
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

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  22. Karen,
    21 years is a long time. I'm so glad that you and your husband are rooted deep and strong. That is a good example to all who know you.
    Blessings,
    ~Erin

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  23. Holly,
    Thank you so much for stopping by! I love both of your blogs and am following them now! I'm so glad this post blessed you!
    xo,
    ~Erin

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  24. *Sniff again* That was beautiful Truly, and after 16 1/2 years of marriage we've had so many hills and valley's, we're rarely in the same place at the same time. But when we are, WHOA NELLIE!

    I really should grab tissue whenever I come over here. Blessings to you and your husband. You guys rock!
    Sharon

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  25. Sharon,
    I love it when you stop by. You always make me smile! Don't you just love those "WHOA NELLIE" times!!! :0)
    Love you, sister!
    ~Erin

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  26. Beautifully said Erin! I have 15 years with my husband. 19 total with dating before. We are still going strong, and I wouldn't know what to do without him. Best to you and your husband:)

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Thank you for giving us a little nugget of truth from your heart!

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