The Hard Things

How do we impress upon our youth that life is hard?  How do we make them see that the relationships and things that are most precious in life, are worth the time, patience, cultivation, dedication and hard work?  I see a disturbing prevailing theme that makes me wonder if we've done them a great disservice.  Most seem to want what they want, when they want it.  They resent having to work for anything rewarding.

I have worked diligently to instill in my children a fortitude and self discipline that will help them realize their dreams without them waiting on those dreams to be handed to over on the proverbial silver platter.  I've done my best to teach them that when a goal seems hard, you don't just walk away and move on to something else.  The times in my life that I've "stuck it out" and looked back on what I've been through, make me feel proud, strong and blessed.  I want my children to know those feelings.

How have we come to the place that when a marriage gets hard, we just leave?  When a job gets tough, we get a new one?  When we can't afford a big home, we buy one anyway?  I fear we're seeing a generation who considers everything to be disposable when they get bored with it and every temptation indulged, because they know they won't stick around to suffer the consequences.  I know there are many who know the value of committment and hard work, but they are not who our children see touted in front of them as the ones to be like.  The people who are looked up to and emulated slip in and out of marriages at whim, indulge in drugs and alcohol to make life fun and easy, and spend money on lavish estravagent excesses.

My son getting his 2nd college degree.

We don't do our children any service when we just hand over things that they want.  It tends to make them shallow and self centered.  It says to them that they don't have to earn anything.  I often think about the Scripture that says, "God is a rewarder of those who diligently seek Him."  Reward comes only after diligence. The true test of character is when one cares about someone or something enough to make them a priority even above their own comfort and pleasure.

I commend those parents who have taken the time to instill a good work ethic in their children; who have shown them that life can be hard, but so worth the effort.  I have hope that there are enough of the next generation who won't let themselves be sucked into empty lives in search of the next easy relationship or thing.  Let's raise up a generation who diligently seeks after God and the dreams He has placed in their hearts!

From His lap,

When It's Time

I want to share a lesson that I thought I'd learned before, but evidently I had mere head knowledge that had not become heart knowledge.  Always believing that God is a Father who wants good things for His children, I have never questioned that He would work things out for good in my life.  Even when I have made wrong choices or someone else has wronged me, I knew, if I kept my heart pure and had faith, He would somehow make things right.

This past year was a tough one for my family after I lost my job.  I was able to spend a lot of time in fellowship with the Lord, get a lot of writing finished and spend time on my photography and note cards.  But our finances suffered horribly.  There were some pretty bleak times in the Patrick household.  But I never doubted that I would find the right job.

I took advantage of every avenue I knew of to look for work. Company after company would approach me on LinkedIn and other sites to say they were interested in me.  I would send off my resume, go in for interviews and be told that I was a great candidate for the job.  Then, I would get that email or phone call, telling me that they were "going" with someone else. They were never able to tell my why they weren't hiring me.

I began to question God in His timing.  "Lord, you know we're drowning in a mountain of debt here. I'm trying so hard to find employment.  Why aren't you opening doors for me?  Why aren't I finding favor with these companies who are seeking me out?"  I struggled with bitterness and anger.  I couldn't understand why we were having to wait so long for His blessing.  If I only knew what I was doing wrong, I would change it...quickly.

Once again, I learned my lesson and this time, it sunk down in my heart.  A chain of seemingly random events began, starting last summer.  I met this person here; they introduced me to that person there; who started hanging out with friends that I hang out with, and sure enough, everything came together, without me even having a hand in it.  I have been offered a position with a wonderful company that is far and above any of those other jobs that I so desperately hoped for.  God's timing...He had to work out all the details.  He had to nudge each person in the chain of events, to play their part in bringing this opportunity across my path.  That's why, Dear One, it's so important to be open to the leading of the Lord.  He may want to use you to bless someone else and if you're not paying attention, you could miss the opportunity to be a blessing.

I can see, now, that God was watching over me and He knew that better things were ahead.  I had only to lean on Him to see me through those tough times.  I'm so grateful for each person who played a role in this six month period of events that led me to the place I am now!  I'm thankful for God's timing and His grace.  If you are waiting on a blessing, take heart and know that He is aware of your circumstances and He will watch over you to perform His word!




From His Lap,

That Which Has Been Given

I know you've heard the quote, "What if you woke up today with only the things you thanked God for yesterday."  The amount of people, relationships and things we have, that we take for granted is staggering.  If we woke up tomorrow without them, we would be struck with the reality of how really blessed we are.  This past year has been one of growth and transition for me; spiritually, physically and emotionally.  Along the journey I was sometimes tempted to groan and complain about circumstances that seemed beyond my control.  In the process, I wasn't always thankful for the gifts I have been given and the grace that has been poured out on me.

As I move towards the new places and faces that God is leading me to this year, my heart's desire is to remain steadfastly grateful and thankful for what I've been given.  I'm being stretched and pruned and shaped into a vessel that God will use, if I allow Him.  He has placed the people in my life that will help me become that vessel.  And I, in turn, will bump up against others and help shape them!  All the while, being grateful for the growth, despite the growing pains.

As I look back at the questions I had for God about the whys and the hows, I can clearly see that He was really in control the whole time.  I just lacked the faith and the vision to realize how He was moving in my life.  I will rest in faith and hope, knowing that He gives me the grace to move forward as He directs and guides my path.  All the while, I will be ever aware of what I have to be thankful for.  This will be a year of giving praise and honor to the One who has given me much.

So, I continue to be thankful for:

121.  A husband who continually does his best to be the man God has created him to be; who cherishes me and encourages me to shine!

122.  The unborn grandson who will make his presence in the world known, in March.  I'm so thankful that God has formed him perfectly in his mother's womb and He is designing him to be a blessing to all who will know him.

123.  The people God has brought into my life who bless me continually with their friendship and support and love!  Without these people, my life would seem empty and dull.  They add color and depth to the tapestry of my life!

124.  A church and pastor who believe in doing life together!!  They not only teach, but they walk through the yuck and the stuff and the joys with our community!  We love doing life together at Sanctuary Tulsa.

125.  The creativity that God has put in me.  For years I struggled with having enough confidence in who He created me to be.  I argued with Him and others that I did not have the gifts and talents that are in me.  Now, I acknowledge them, I am grateful for them and I nurture them.

Won't you join me in contemplating all that you have to be grateful for and take note if you've remembered to thank God for it?

I will continue to journey with Ann Voskamp over at A Holy Experience as she shares her own and others reasons to be thankful!  Won't you join us there?

From His lap,

Waiting For You

There is always hope shining through.

Do you need proof of the power of love?  Have recent circumstances had you in a place of plummeting hope?  In the past year, so many have talked to me of stressed or broken relationships and of lives spiraling downward and out of control.  There is good news.  Not easy news...but good news.   There are ways to find hope and joy and fulfillment if you make the time and do the work and are diligent to keep the prize ever in front of you.

A woman spoke to me recently about her bitter hatred of a former colleague.  She is filled with so much hatred that her body is literally shutting down and she's had to go to the hospital and may end up having surgery.  She is not willing to keep her eyes fixed on her goals and her heart towards the people she loves, because of these bitter feelings towards another.  Everything else that is good in her life, is falling down around her because she won't place her shattered heart in the hands of God and let Him heal the broken places.

The only way to fully grasp the power of love is to turn inward where God is hiding in our depths.  If you are willing to turn off the TV, step away from the computer and be alone with the One who loves you completely, then He can show you those broken places. Imagine, in your mind's eye, that His finger is touching the hurt places in your heart and making them whole.  And be honest with Him.  Cry out to Him.  Tell Him how you feel and own up to whatever you need forgiveness for.  The hard part comes in disciplining yourself to make that time to spend with Him.  Because He gives us free will, He will never force you to spend time with Him.  He waits for you to come.

Another difficulty is being honest and confessing whatever part you play in your heartbreak.  Even when another person has completely hurt us, somewhere in there, in our response, in our hatred back, we need forgiveness.  You see, we can only control our actions and reactions.  And when we focus on that, it takes our eyes off of the one who hurt us and opens up a way for God to touch and heal our wounded soul.

And the final challenge is to focus on those people and things that matter...the ones who are being hurt by our woundedness.  When we've been broken, we tend to lash out at those who are innocent and don't deserve to be neglected or attacked.  Those who broke us cannot fix us.  The power of God's love and healing touch is the only thing that can make us whole.  It gives us hope for a future.

If you are experiencing hurt and heartbreak, can you do what's necessary on your part, to get the healing process going?  Are you willing to do the hard stuff?  I promise, He will meet you there and touch you with the power of His love and begin to make you whole.  There is no better hope than that.

I'm joining with Ann Voskamp over at A Holy Experience.  Visit us over there to see what others are saying about forming spiritual habits that will help you grow.




 From His lap,

Not Two Trees, But One

When we first "fall in love" it's as if a powerful wave is crashing to shore.  It knocks our legs out from under us and carries us with the current.  But have you ever noticed how quickly that wave subsides and pulls back out to the ocean?  Many relationships and marriages crumble as that tide of emotion leaves and the feeling of being carried by the current passes.  A kind of stranded feeling remains...one of not being well rooted and grounded.  There is no sure footing remaining, strong enough to hold a couple together.

Louis de Bernierès said, "Love erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.  And when it subsides, you have to make a decision.  You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together, that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.  Because this is what love is.  Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.  Love itself is what's left over after being in love has burned away.  Your mother and I had it.  We had our roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossums had fallen from our branches, we found that we were one tree and not two."

Beautiful words and so true.  But the work that it takes to get to that place seems to be too much for many people.  In order for roots to grow deep, pruning must take place and we don't like to be pruned.  Maybe our spouse has stronger places than we do.  Maybe when the droughts come, we don't want to withstand the heat and the dryness.  Maybe when it's cold and our branches freeze over with ice, it's too painful.

My marriage has certainly withstood the test of time.  We have weathered storms that we thought might break us.  But as we have faced each storm or dry spell, we always turned to the One who makes our union holy.  Our Heavenly Father has always been the Rock that we could go to when we needed to be touched by love.  Crying out to Him was what watered our roots and gave us our strength.  Learning how to forgive and bestow mercy...and receive mercy...it has caused our roots to grow together and make us, not two trees, but one.  And when our last blossums have fallen and all leaves are on the ground, we will still have our gloriously strengthened roots.

That kind of relationship is so beautiful and fulfilling.  We are ever watchful for those waves that come crashing in, sweeping us away for a moment, refreshing us, catching us up in rapturous moments of passion.  And then we are left with our roots so intertwined that we are cannot be separated.   Are you willing to go through the hard seasons, depending on prayer, hope and faith, to see you through or is it just easier to give up and look for someone else to sweep you off your feet in the next wave of passion?

From His lap,

Digging for Dreams

"It's not who you are that holds you back, it's who you think you're not." ~Denis Waitley

What would happen if you really got a hold of who you are?  My parents always told me that I could do or be anything or anyone I wanted to do or be.  But still, for much of my life, I've struggled with thoughts of who I was not.  "I'm not this.  I can't do that.  I'll never have the means to be that."  Hopes and dreams can get so side tracked by focusing on everything that we are not, instead of realizing that we are who we are, for a reason!

The Lord tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the Lord, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." What if that's true?  Really, we say we believe God's Word, but it's so much easier to believe for other people.  When it comes to believing it for ourselves, we seem to doubt and question.  But what if He created you just how you are because He has a hope and a plan for you?

I'm not saying that we are perfect just the way we are and that we don't need to grow and change.  But everything that is needed for our hopes and dreams to come to pass has been buried deep in our hearts by our Creator!  We just need to dig it out, polish it up and run with it!  Concentrating on our flaws and mistakes will only keep us from the process of digging up our gifts and fulfilling our dreams.

I can give you a perfect example.  Since I was a small child, I knew that I was a writer.  I felt compelled to write, driven to write.  But then I became a mom and raising six kids brought a lot of excuses for me to not delve into that gift and nurture it and make it grow.  I bought into the idea of everything that I was NOT.  You couldn't have paid me to say, "I am a writer," because what if people would laugh at me or say, "Well, you haven't published a book.  How can you be a writer?"

Over the past six years, I have been writing again. The first time I told people, "I am a writer", I almost choked on the words.  It felt like someone in my head was screaming, "Liar, liar."  I squirmed and waited for the people who I said it to, to start laughing at me. But they didn't.  Instead, they said that they had read my blog and loved it.  They said that they had bought some of my note cards.  I looked around the room to see if anyone was going to expose me for being a fraud, but that didn't happen.

So now, when someone asks me what I do, I proudly say, "I'm a writer."  And they believe me!  Those words still don't roll easily off my tongue, but I'm getting there.  You see, Dear One, you can't let all the things that you are NOT, hold you back from being who you ARE.  You were created for a purpose and only you and God know what that is.  I pray that you spend time with your Heavenly Father every day and let Him whisper His hopes and plans to you. Dig deep into your heart and find the things that make you come alive, polish them, grow them, nurture them and be who you were meant to be!

I'm linking up with up with Anne over at I Live in an Antbed.  Hop on over there and see what others are saying about what the power of God can do in your life.

From His lap,

A Mother's Journey

{EAV:176d33a4c513f99d} Years ago, when my mother passed away, someone sent me this beautiful tribute to moms.  I don't know who wrote it so I can't give proper credit.  But it is a truly beautiful piece and I hope it touches your heart.   Read it at a slow pace...leisurely, digesting every word.  For those lucky enough to still be blessed with your mom, this is beautiful.  For those of us who aren't, this is even more beautiful.  For those who are moms, you'll love this.

Mother

My mom and dad

The young mother set her foot on the path of life. "Is this the long way?" she asked. And the guide said, "Yes, and the way is hard.  And you will be old before you reach the end of it.  But the end will be better than the beginning."

But the young mother was happy, and she would not believe that anything could be better than these years.  So she played with her children, and gathered flowers for them along the way, and bathed them in the clear streams; and the sun shone on them and the young Mother cried, "Nothing will ever be lovelier than this."

My husband and his mom

Then the night came, and the storm, and the path was dark, and the children shook with fear and cold, and the mother drew them close and covered them with her mantle, and the children said, "Mother, we are not afraid, for you are near, and no harm can come."
                    
And the morning came, and there was a hill ahead, and the children climbed and grew weary, and the mother was weary.  But at all times she said to the children," A little patience and we are there."  So the children climbed, and when they reached the top they said, "Mother, we would not have done it without you."

My dad's mom

My mom and her mom

And the mother, when she lay down at night looked up at the stars and said, "This is a better day than the last, for my children have learned fortitude in the face of hardness. Yesterday I gave them courage. Today, I've given them strength."

And the next day came strange clouds which darkened the earth, clouds of war and hate and evil, and the children groped and stumbled, and the mother said, "Look up. Lift your eyes to the light.  "And the children looked and saw above the clouds an everlasting glory, and it guided them beyond the darkness.  And that night the Mother said, "This is the best day of all, for I have shown my children God."

And the days went on, and the weeks and the months and the years, and the mother grew old and she was little and bent.  But her children were tall and strong, and walked with courage.  And when the way was rough, they lifted her, for she was as light as a feather; and at last they came to a hill, and beyond they could  see a shining road and golden gates flung wide.  And mother said, "I have reached the end of my journey. And now I know the end is better than the beginning, for my children can walk alone, and their children after them."

And the children said, "You will always walk with us, Mother, even when you have gone through the gates."  And they stood and watched her as she went on alone, and the gates closed after her.  And they said: "We cannot see her but she is with us still.  A Mother like ours is more than a memory.  She is a living essence."

Your Mother is always with you... She's the whisper of the leaves as you walk down the street; she's the smell of bleach in your freshly laundered socks; she's the cool hand on your brow when you're not well. Your Mother lives inside your laughter. And she's crystallized in every tear drop.  She's the place you came from, your first home; and she's the map you follow with every step you take. She's your first love and your first heartbreak, and nothing on earth can separate you.
Not time, not space... not even death!

Home is where your story begins.


Today I am linking up with Joan at Reflections of Grace.  I would love for you to visit there and see what others are saying about the Grace of God!

From His lap,

When Can You Visit?

Some of us on Christmas night.

This Christmas was wonderful because we got to spend some time with five out of our six kids.  Christmas Eve, we actually were all together but the oldest.  He couldn't get off work to join us.  We were never able to coordinate things to where we would all be together at the same time again after Christmas Eve.  But the rest of this week, we've seen one or two or three of them, here and there, for different events.



Our jammies picture

 Something began to tug at my heart as one or the other of them would call with their reasons for why they couldn't make a particular event.  "Mom, I have to work."  "Mom, I can't afford the airfare."  Mom, I told my friends I'd go to the movies with them."  "Mom, we're tired so we're just going to stay home."  As I listened to everyone of these legitimate reasons for not showing up, I thought about all the reasons I give God for not spending time with Him. 



Two of our daughters

 "Lord, I have to get to work."  "Lord, I've had a long day at work and I'm tired."  Lord, I told my friends I'd go to Girls Night Out."  "Lord, I have to go to my son's swim meet."  Now I realize that I can talk with Him in the car or as I drift off to sleep at night or while I'm grocery shopping.  But my best times are when I make time for Him, just like I would make time for my husband, or my kids, or my friends.  Those are the times when I hear Him speak to my heart, or get guidance from Him or receive comfort when I'm hurting. 

Middle daughter with my hubby

So, as I got those calls from my kids this Christmas, I wondered how He feels when He gets those calls from me, with another well meaning excuse...always intending to get back with Him later.  But who knows what blessing I missed out on by not going right then!  I wonder if He smiles sadly but fondly when I give Him my reasons for not having time for Him.  When my kids show up unexpectedly, at the door, my heart rejoices at the sight of their faces and the sound of their voices.  Does God rejoice over me that way when I show up in His throne room?  Does He miss me like I miss my kids when they don't come?



My sweet grandbaby

 He is such a wonderful Father and He is patient and kind enough to wait for me to show up.  But when I think about the sweet times I've missed with Him, it makes me sad.  Beloved, if you make time for Him, just like you make time for your loved ones, I promise, you will come away refreshed, renewed and blessed by your encounter with Him.  He understands our busy lives, just like we do with our kids.  But He is always ready to spend time with us and He will never turn us away or be too preoccupied. 

The next time you get a call from one of your loved ones, or there's a knock on the door and you have unexpected visitors, rejoice the way your Heavenly Father rejoices over you when you show up!

Here are some photos of family time this Christmas. I hope you enjoy them.

Our youngest ice skating

Whipping me around the ice rink!



Tulsa's Winterfest




Opening stockings Christmas morning.




Toasting our son & his girlfriend on their engagement!




Some of the girls



Girls definitely have the guys outnumbered!



My beautiful daughter!

I am linking up with Joan over at Reflections of His Grace.  Hop on over there and see what other bloggers are sharing about God's love and grace!


Wishing you the most joyous New Year from His lap!



So This is Christmas

If you could get any present you wanted for Christmas, what would it be?  A friend asked me this question a couple of days ago.  At first, I thought about some pretty amazing material things that I would love to receive.  Then, I thought of those intangibles...you know...peace on earth and those kinds of things.  But quick as a flash, all of those pictures disappeared and I had one image in my mind.  I knew what I would ask for if I could have anything I wanted.

Without a shadow of a doubt, no ifs, ands or buts, it would be one more day to spend with my mother.  You see, she was the one who taught me everything...everything that mattered, that is.  She had more wisdom and faith than anyone I know.  I learned what love is by how much she loved me.  We had our clashes and disagreements just like any other mother and daughter, but she was my rock.

Mom made the holidays an exciting adventure from Thanksgiving through New Year's Day.  The last time I saw my mom was Thanksgiving of 2004.  So you see, the holidays are bittersweet for me.  Don't get me wrong, I don't get melancholy and depressed.  It's just the opposite.  The very atmosphere of the holidays makes me feel like my mom is right here with me and that brings me much joy!

And so this is Christmas.  I decorate, play mom's Christmas albums and celebrate as if she were here, watching me do it all.  I thought I would share some of the Christmas sights in our home that make me feel so warm and wonderful.  I hope you enjoy.

I pray you have a very Merry Christmas, surrounded by loved ones and making happy memories.  But if circumstances have you spending the holidays alone, I pray that you feel the presence of God around you, and that you realize that the birth of God's son was a precious gift for you and you never have to be alone.

I wish you joy and fulfillment in the coming year!

Blessings From His Lap,