Recently I have been privy to observe some teenage girls texting each other. I'll admit, I am shocked at the ease with which they are able to text hateful and mean spirited messages back and forth. I started taking notice to the things young kids were posting on each other's Facebook walls, as well. The name calling, bullying and insults fly back and forth without them ever batting an eye. And why should they bat that proverbial eye? They are not present to see the damage their words are causing the the person to whom they're being spoken. In this manner, texting can cause blindness. If we can't see it, we're not responsible for it.
I fear that we are raising a generation that can say things through texting, twitter, Facebook and the likes, without having to face or "see" the consequences and the damage their words cause. It's so easy for them to call people names and tell them they hate them, when they're not standing face to face with the person. If we, as parents, are not careful, we will have children who grow up, completely cold, calloused and blind to the feelings of others.
When I was growing up ("texting", "Facebook" and "twitter" had never even been heard of), we didn't even talk to each other like that over the phone, much less, in person. I remember being angry with friends and my parents taking me over to their houses to talk to them and work out our issues. It was never easy to look a friend or a school mate in the eye and tell them how I felt or accuse them of something I thought they had done. But there's something to be said for looking someone in the eye and gauging our language and tone of voice on how they are reacting to what they are being told.
How easy is it to type in a text and tell somebody off, or to be cruel over Facebook posts, or call someone names on twitter? Mean and hurtful words cause pain and damage. People are less likely to use those kinds of words if they are face to face with someone. If we do say something cruel to a person we are standing in front of, we are forced to see the effects our words cause.
How will the next generation communicate effectively, when most communication is done through electronic means now. It's much easier to "shoot" someone a "happy birthday" message on their Facebook page rather than take the time to go pick out a birthday card and drop it in the mail. It takes little or no emotional toll or responsibility to break up with someone over a text. And, heck, why not quit a job via email?
We have to lead by example. If our children constantly see us sending texts to friends, relatives and spouses, they will not learn to communicate by talking directly with people. I'm not saying that social media is bad, per se. I use it, myself. But I am a firm believer in face to face or over the phone conversations whenever possible. I prefer looking someone in the eye and seeing their reaction to my words and adjusting accordingly. Sometimes I may need to be firmer in my words and tone, and other times, I need to soften how I'm saying something. How could I ever discern that through a text?
If you are a parent, I challenge you, to make sure that your children know how to hold tough conversations, be responsible for the consequences of their words, and to understand the effects their words have on the person they are speaking them to. Let's make sure that they grow up as caring and compassionate people, understanding the power of their words.
From His Lap,
