My husband and I lay quietly last night talking about forgiveness. There are so many hurts, so many wrongs that people suffer every day. Wounds are made deep in souls. I wondered aloud, "Do you think forgiving eases the wound? Can we expect people to recover faster because forgiveness has been granted and received?" I was wrestling with the concepts of forgiving and forgetting.
People say so glibly, "Forgive and forget." First of all, that is not Scriptural. We are repeatedly admonished to forgive offenses, but I haven't found any Scripture that says when we forgive, the offense will be wiped from our memory. Secondly, being human, we don't forget like that. Our brains and our hearts are wired to remember. If I hear someone tell a person, "It's been enough time, just get over it" I want to ask if they heal so quickly themselves, from a hurt.
When I think of an actual physical injury, I think first, of the blood. You bleed and sometimes you even need stitches to help hold your wound together. Then you form a scab, and sometimes that scab gets knocked off and you bleed again and another scab has to form. Slowly, the scab dries and a scar is left. Scars are a beautiful reminder that you were injured and are now healed. But the process doesn't happen over night.
I think emotional hurts and injuries heal in much the same manner. After the initial emotional pain and bleeding, we can move quickly to God's presence and let Him place His healing salve on the wound, the sweet balm of Him, easing the pain and bleeding. During this time, ask Him to help you forgive the one who hurt you. Ask Him to give you grace to extend. And then, you must be about the business of healing, forming that scab and the eventual scar that shows you were mended. If you tell someone that you have forgiven them and then you keep bringing it up and beating them over the head with it, it will just make the healing process longer.
You won't forget but you will place your heart in God's hands and trust in Him to make it whole again. So, I asked my husband, "Can we expect people recover faster because forgiveness has been granted and received?" I believe we can. It allows us to get the healing process started and keeps our eyes focused on the One who give us strength and grace to forgive.
If you are struggling to let go of a suffered wrong, dear one, I would encourage you to entrust your heart to Him who heals all wounds and makes all things new. Release the one who offended; turn them over to God so that He can begin a work in them as well.
Share with us how you have learned to forgive and deal with the memories.
From His lap,
