Labels Lie

This post is going to be a tough one for me because I'm going to expose a label that has been tattooed across my heart for a long time.  I've decided to expose it to the light and have it removed.  If you follow my blog, you know that I was raised in a Christian home by amazing parents, who taught me the love of Christ.  They lived a life of seeking Him and putting Him first in our family.

In high school, I never drank, smoked, cussed or ran around with boys.  You see, I believed what my parents taught me about living a pure life, one devoted to Christ. I married a Christian.  We started our family and attended Bible school.  I thought our family would continue on in the manner in which I was raised, a God centered family life.

And then, life happened.  We had 3 beautiful children.  Things began to go wrong, love was fought for and lost, and my husband and I divorced.  I'm not sure how it even happened, but it did.  After several years, I met my 2nd husband and we became engaged.  Shortly after our engagement, I got pregnant.  Needless to say, this is when the labeling began.

I had to tell my family about the pregnancy.  I was told by some members of my family that this child I was carrying, out of wedlock, would never be accepted or loved like my other children.  Some people told me that I disgusted them.  There were times when I would walk towards friends at church and they would turn the other way when they saw me coming. Thus, the label that became tattooed across my heart..."FAILURE"!

Some Christians are just as guilty as anyone at pinning labels on others. They think that if they've never gotten a divorce, if they've never gotten pregnant before they were married, if they've not had to start life over, they are a success and that those other people are beneath them.  Somehow, I think attaching labels to others, allows people to not to have to face their own shortcomings.  They don't even realize in the process they are giving themselves labels like "BETTER THAN" and "RIGHTEOUS".

Now, I am a grace person.  I am even part of a group called People of the Second Chance (POTSC). This is a group that believes in extending radical grace to those who have been labeled and feel like there is no grace for them.  We love on and show mercy and grace to hurting people who feel like they can never be accepted by God, the Church or just people in general.  So, you see, I am a grace person.

I try to place value and preciousness on everyone I come across; to see them as my Heavenly Father sees them.  It wasn't until recently, that I realized I haven't extended that same grace to myself.  While I have given my heart over to my Father, there is a part of it I have kept from Him; the part that is labelled "FAILURE".  That part, I have kept from Him, in the dark, in secret.  And when I try to go to that place in my heart, I can still hear the words that were spoken to me so many years ago as if it was just yesterday.  It's as if I get the tattoo redone every time I visit that place.  The colors become more vivid instead of fading with time.  Labels lie to us and tell us that we are something we are not.  And as we believe the lie, it slowly changes us into a person who we were not meant to be. Labels steal, kill and destroy.

This son that I had, 16 years ago, was no surprise to God!  God knew I would have this child from the beginning of time, just as He knew I would have my other children.  He has a plan for Him like He has a plan for each of my other children. He is an amazing child with the most tender heart and a capacity to love and be kind, like no one else that I know.  He is a gift.  He is loved by my family.  How could having this gift, make me a "FAILURE".

And so, I've decided to uncover the tattoo of that label on my heart.  I've laid it bare before the Lord.  I'm going to let the blood of Jesus wash over it and take it away.  I've heard tattoo removal is painful, so I suspect this won't be easy.  I'll have to change my way of thinking about myself.  I'll have to extend the same grace that I extend to others, to myself. I'll have to come up with a different label to tattoo there..like maybe GREAT MOTHER, or maybe, DAUGHTER OF THE KING, or maybe, just SINNER, SAVED BY GRACE.

My dear friend,  if you have tattooed any labels across your heart, that are interfering with you being the person God created you to be,  make the tough decision to remove them.  Regardless of what you have done or been, in the past, God wants to make you new and whole and clean.  The only label He has for you is "Child of God".  It's not easy to get rid of labels, but God makes a way.  The Scriptures, in Philippians, says, "Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things."  These are the ways that you should be thinking about yourself.  If you have sin in your life, know that you are not your sin, repent of it and let Him make you clean and whole again.

From His Lap,

I'm Building a House!

Many of us refer to our churches as, "the house of God", and that is how it should be. Where we go to worship is the house of God.  Last week, my daughter and I went downtown in our city to take pictures.  We went inside some of the churches there to see what they looked like.  They were so beautiful and clean and showed honor to God in every corner.  There were stunning stained glass windows, pipe organs, polished pews, crosses, Bibles and hymnals.

We were struck with how much care and preparation was put into making God's house holy.  Everywhere we looked were symbols of holiness.  And it should be just that way. When we meet to pray and fellowship, we love for our house of worship to be a place where God's presence is welcome.  Our churches are symbols of where God lives, because people come there to invite and welcome Him in. We are aware of His presence there.  We give Him praise there.  We worship and adore Him there.  We take heed to His word there.  We repent and ask forgiveness there.  He makes us clean there!  

But did you know that your heart is the house of God too? When you've invited Him to be a part of your life, He takes up residence in your heart.  Do you make sure that His presence is welcome there?  Is your heart holy and pure, just like your church?  Of course, I don't mean that we have to be perfect or without sin, not making mistakes or having any fun.  But are you aware of Him being with you throughout your day, walking with you, talking with you?  Do you stop to give Him praise and worship?  Do you repent of a sin just committed?

I find that sometimes I have days of harboring bitterness or lashing out in anger or wallowing in self pity.  On those days, I know that my heart isn't pure towards God.  I let it become a dark cold place.  But He loves me so much, He doesn't leave.  He waits for me to ask His help in cleaning up my heart again.  In prayer and quiet time with Him, he washes me anew and makes me pure and holy, a vessel where God's presence is welcome!  I am building a house, God's house, and it's in me!

Knowing that my body and my heart are the temple of the Lord, I desire to make better decisions, love more, forgive often and sin less.  Is your heart a welcome house for the Lord?  Does He have fellowship with you there?  Do you love to clean "house" for Him?  As my daughter and I walked through those churches, I purposed in my heart to be more aware of my temple and to make sure that He always is welcome there!  I want every corner of my heart to honor Him.  I'm building a house that will be pleasing to Him; a place where He feels welcome and where we fellowship many times throughout the day.

Today I'm linking up with Paula Ebert at Worship Wednesdays.  Please visit there and see what others are saying about worship!

From His lap,

A Heart Check for the Holidays

It's already begun at the Patrick household!  I'm making my crazy lists in my head for the holidays.  It won't do me any good to write them down.  I'll just lose them!  I can keep better track of the lists in my head.  But there are lists for decorations; first Thanksgiving, then Christmas.  There are lists for what food will be prepared for each celebration.  My oldest son's birthday is on Thanksgiving this year!  My birthday is just five days later, so, another feast!  Then, there are the lists of guests and visitors for parties, for meals, for sleepovers.  I even have a mental list of what old Christmas albums I will play on my mom's stereo.  Oh yes, I have this down to a real production.

It's pandemonium in my mind, already!  So, I've decided to do a heart check.  Not the cardiologist kind of heart check.  But the kind of heart check where I sit down and get honest with myself and the Lord, about what's really going on under all the activity.  Am I remembering what all of this celebration, friends and family gathering, is all about?  My passion since my earliest memories, is for people to know that they are loved and valued.  My deepest desire is for others to know that they were created for a reason and that they are God's answer to something.

But somewhere in life's hustle and bustle, in the planning and conforming to the world's idea of what celebration looks like, we stuff our passions down, tuck them away in our hearts and offer up something that looks great but is empty and void of our first love.  John Eldredge says, "For what shall we do when we wake one day and find that we have lost touch with our hearts and with it the very refuge where God's presence resides.?"

I don't want to get lost in a bunch of activity for God and in the meantime, forget to spend time with God, talking with Him, receiving grace to carry out my passions.  So I'm doing a heart check for the holidays.  I'm making sure that I'm remembering all that my heart yearns for, all the desires that he placed in my heart; and I'm going to incorporate those things into my lists and my plans for the holidays.  As I celebrate what I'm thankful for and remember the birth of a Saviour who came here for me, I will look inward and be true to who I am.  I am someone who desires people to know how valued and precious they are and when they visit my home for the holidays, I want them to leave knowing that God created them as the answer to something!

How will you incorporate your heart's passions and longings into your Thanksgiving and Chrismas celebrations?  Will you do a heart check with me to make sure that we remember why we are thankful for so much?

From His Lap,

Home is Where Your Story Begins

I have a plaque over the desk in my home office.  It reads, "Home is where your story begins."  My mother in law gave it to me because she wanted the words to inspire me as I write.  Every day I look at that sign and think of what an amazingly true and powerful statement it is.  No matter the home you come from, your story begins there.  But as I was reflecting on the plaque today, I realized that your story doesn't have to end there.

I grew up in a stable Christian home with parents who loved each other fiercely.  They attempted to have their every action be Christ and family centered.  So when I draw on the beginning of my story, it is strong and good and comforting.  But what about those whose story doesn't start so well?  What about those who began life neglected or abused or in the midst of strife and chaos?  If their story begins like that, what hope do they have?  At least when you start out life with a good story, then when bad things come, you have a solid basis on which to deal with those things. 

I began to feel bad.  Should I take the plaque down?  Is what it says unfair?  As I started to pray about it, I realized that "home" is where your heart is.  It is where you feel peace and loved.  And if the only place you feel peace and loved is with the Lord, then that's where your story begins.  That's your home.  That's where you find out who you are and what you were created for.  What a place to find out the plans and the purposes for your life.

What if your story started off well and you really screwed it up?  Then what?  You get to start your story over, with Christ.  You get to wash away the past and begin afresh.  That doesn't mean you won't have to deal with consequences of sin, but you can begin to clean up the mess and the yuck, by starting your story over new every day. 

So you see, precious one, no matter the home where your story began, you can start with a brand new chapter.  One where you are valued and precious and celebrated.  Be fierce about figuring out the plans and purposes He has for you and go after them and write a whole new story.  I've had to begin new chapters several times.  I'm so glad He wants me to make my home in Him!  I am continually amazed at the blessings He has given me to be grateful for:

100.  My parent's passion for following after the things of God.  For the example of putting Him first, above all else.  Their example of righteous living.

101.  My parent's passion for each other.  For the example of trying to outdo each other in love.  For their selflessness in putting each other first.  For their love story.

102.  For a childhood filled with love and safety.

103.  For meeting a new group of sisters this week who I get to study the Word with and pray with and do life with.

104.  For learning that He will give me grace sufficient to get through each day when I spend time with Him.

105.  For beautiful Oklahoma sunsets that make my heart sing at the glory of God!

If you'd like to see what others are grateful for, head on over to Ann Voskamp's site, A Holy Experience.




From His lap,

Have You Started Realizing Your Dreams?

Do you have big dreams?  Do you have something placed by God, in your heart that is burning to come to pass?  What is hiding deep on the inside of you that wants to be birthed?  What is stopping your dream from coming true? 

When a hectic life, a busy family, a career, eat up our time and occupy all of our thoughts, it's easy for those dreams to get pushed down and sometimes even forgotten.  I would challenge you to search your heart and write down those things that you long to see come to pass.  Maybe now isn't the time in your life for those dreams to come to fruition, but it's always time to keep them alive.  It's always time to take little steps towards reaching those goals.



What dream God has written on your heart?



After you write down what's on your heart, I suggest the next step would be to think about small doable goals that will start you down the path you need to be headed, and write those down.  Maybe you could find someone who has done something similar and talk to them.  Don't be afraid to ask questions.  I have found that, while people won't give away their "trade secrets", they are happy to warn of pitfalls and  shortcuts that could cause harm or delay to your goals.  Maybe you could even find someone who could mentor you in whatever area you need some skill building.  If your dream involves starting a business, do you know someone who has experience in writing business plans?  Maybe you could pick their brains on how they wrote their business plan.



Do you know how to write a business plan?


One area that I have struggled with in the past, is a negative attitude towards my ability to see my passions come to pass.  Even when co-workers, friends, family and sometimes, strangers would tell me that I would be a great success, I would beat myself up.  I would think, "No, I just don't have what it takes;  I'm not creative enough; my ideas are not that good.  Somebody else is already doing it better."  So, instead of thanking God everyday that He put a dream in my heart and praising Him because He was going to help me move forward, I
shut myself down, squashing the dreams of my life.

One day, I woke up and realized that if God put a hope and a dream on the inside of me, then He would provide a way to walk it out with me.  He wants us to take the initiative, to do the work and He can make divine connections and wonderful appointments that we would have never thought possible.  So don't think your dreams are trivial or too big or out of reach!  Take one step at a time, always go back to Him, the giver of the dream, and take small slow steps!

Don't just believe in your dreams, but in the One who gave them to you.  Today is the beginning of all of the rest of your days.  Pray it out.  Ask for His guidance and wisdom.  Write something down, take a step, move towards your goal.  Philippians 3:14 says to "Press forward towards the mark of the high calling of God, in Jesus Christ."  He won't let you down.  He will walk with you and see you through to the end!  What hopes and dreams do you have hidden in your heart?  What are the things that you long to see come to pass?  Share with us what steps you have taken so that you are moving towards the mark of the high calling!


From His Lap,

Staying Long Enough to Find the Treasure

How do you deal with difficult people?  Our pastor tells of when he was young and had a job where he had to work next to a really difficult guy named "Steve".  "Steve" was pushy, loud and rude.  He tried everything to get along with him but nothing worked.  So he quit that job and went to work somewhere else...and wouldn't you know it...there was a "Steve" there too!  Every job he took, there were "Steves" that he had to put up with.  He began to realize that maybe God was going to keep putting him in the path of "Steves" until he learned how to deal with them kindly and compassionately; until "Steves" were no longer an issue for him.

Think about precious metals, stones and other elements.  Where do we find them; hidden deep within the earth.  How does this pertain to difficult people?  What if God has hidden things of Himself, treasures, deep in our hearts?  What if we have to dig deep to see what He has instilled in us?  We can be totally oblivious to what He has placed in our hearts and the hearts of others.

Someone who has lived a difficult life or maybe been told they are no good at anything, or have never been told that someone is proud of them, they wouldn't know to dig deep to uncover the wonderful secrets God has placed in them.  Maybe we need to find ways to uncover the treasure in people around us.  I have been in situations where someone was acting so ugly that I could almost see that their souls were black.  I wanted to flee as fast as I could and have nothing to do with them.  But I knew that with the love of God in me, I could push through, stick around and find out why they were such a difficult person.  It could start with something as simple as leaving an unsigned note of encouragement, a pat on the back as I walk by, an invitation to lunch.  With "Steves", most people never make the effort to get past the facade, to push deeper and find out that God has put wonderful, precious treasures in them.

God's love has no labels.  It does not respond to people based on their actions.  His love is based on the One doing the loving, not on the one being loved!  Our love should be the same way.  If we have to confront or correct someone difficult, it should be through this kind of love or it will just be seen as another rejection.  If we set love on people then correction comes through a filter of acceptance.  Imagine walking around seeking the best or good in others!

Do you have someone difficult in your life who just keeps showing up?  Maybe God wants you to learn how to deal with them.  Maybe you won't see people like that as difficult after you learn to look for the preciousness and value in them.  I'm not saying it's easy or fun, and wouldn't we want someone to take the time and make the effort to find out what's hidden in our hearts?  I promise, not only can it change their heart, but it can also change yours!   

From His Lap,