When Life Isn't Fair

“Don’t I have the right to gripe?  Can’t I complain just a little?  I mean, after all, I deserve better, don’t I?  I work just as hard as the next guy.  Why do I have to plaster a fake smile on my face and act like everything is okay?  Maybe I would like for something to go right in my life for a change.”  I heard these words from a person in line at the grocery store.  She was talking on her cell phone.  I don’t know who she was talking to.  I just know that she was very indignant over the injustices of her life.

I have to admit, I’ve been there before.  There have been days when I’ve questioned the fairness and the equity of life.  As Americans, we’ve become brainwashed into thinking that we deserve everything and if we don’t have what we want, then somebody has cheated us out of it.  The plain fact is we don’t deserve anything.  I know that this is going to rub some of my readers the wrong way, but it’s the truth, as I see it.  Our western culture has now raised an entire generation who believe that life is all about entitlements.  We’ve come a far cry from life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

When I was growing up, I remember my dad saying, “Life isn’t fair.”  I used to get so angry when he'd say that.  If you live right and work hard, life should be fair.  But the Scriptures tell us that “the rain falls on the just and the unjust alike.”  There is a story in Matthew 20:1-16 about some workers in a field who had toiled all day and others who came towards the end of the day.  They were all paid the same amount of money.  The workers who had started early in the day felt cheated and that it wasn’t fair for the late comers to be paid the same amount.  But they had made an agreement with the landowner for how much they would be paid.  He didn’t say that he would pay any who came later, less wages.

So, what do we deserve?  There are so many around the world who don’t even have human dignity, food or a roof over their head.  There are innocents who have suffered at the hands of abusers who we will never hear about or know of.  When I think of them, I know that I have riches and blessings beyond measure.  As believers, we serve a God who served us.  He gave all for us.  We are worth Jesus, to Him. 

In Christ, our lives should be the opposite of what our culture and society tells us it should be.  If you want to see Jesus, go to where the hurting and the broken are.  That’s where you’ll find Him.  The Church is supposed to be a servant.  We are called to take care of the widows and the orphans and the sick and the lame.  The government is not called to do this.  They are called to provide basic protection, simple education and maintain infrastructure and a justice system.  We are called to love!  We are meant to be Jesus hands and feet on this earth.  We are commissioned to “go ye into all the world.”

So, while sometimes, life doesn’t seem fair and we don’t always get our way, we are richly blessed and have much to take to a hurt and dying world.   We have a message of hope and we have the means to offer that hope in the form of love.  That love can look like different things to different people.  It might look like food.  It might look like blankets.  It might look like assistance with the legal system.  It could look like a hug and a prayer.  Maybe it’s helping an abused child or a battered woman get to safety.  But it’s all love and it’s the high calling of all believers everywhere.  Can you see those in your world who could use a hand up? Are there hurting and broken people who you can reach out to?  I would challenge each of us to be Jesus hands and feet, wherever we go and impact the world for the Kingdom!

From His Lap,

A Grateful Heart

Much is being said these days about "thankfulness" and being grateful.  The times we are living in are a struggle for so many, that remembering to be thankful is probably the last thing on people's minds.  I've actually had folks say to me that they don't have one thing in their life to be thankful for.  While life may be hard and circumstances may be far from perfect, I just can't imagine not having one thing in my life for which I'm grateful.

My Gripes Be Gone Bracelet

I'm reading Linda Dillow's book "What's it Like to be Married to Me".  She has a bracelet that comes in conjunction with the book that she call's the "Gripes Be Gone bracelet".  Every time you gripe or complain, you have to switch the bracelet to the other wrist.  The theory is to wear the bracelet for 21 days in a row without griping.  Here is the astonishing part; it takes the average person 4 to 8 months to go 21 days in a row without griping!  Isn't that just crazy?!  I have had the bracelet for a week now and have not managed to go one whole day yet without a gripe.  I'm getting so much better, but I still have a way to go.  My biggest gripe is traffic, but that's another story.


When we get in the habit of speaking out the frustrating things, the "yuck" in our lives, it begins to take hold of us on the inside and then "out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaketh" Luke 6:45.  I think that's why Scripture admonishes us; "Finally brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable, if anything is excellent or praiseworthy, think about these things." Phil 4:8 (NIV)


Were you ever in a play that you had to memorize lines for?  You had to rehearse and rehearse and rehearse your part until it became second nature to you.  You could eventually say the lines without even thinking about them.  I think that's how thankfulness works.  We find the good things in our lives and then rehearse and rehearse and rehearse them.  Soon, our hearts are full of gratefulness to God for the small things, the big things and for things that we never even thought about before.

Sweet Basil

I'll give you an example of something I've turned from griping into thankfulness.  Our city has had an unbearably hot summer this year with temperatures over 105° many days in a row.  I love to garden and if you have read my earlier post The Master Gardener then you know that I have been very frustrated that none of my vegetables have been able to survive the summer heat.  I have been upset that so much time, effort and money has been spent to make my little garden grow and it seemed all for nothing.  I must confess that I have griped long and hard about it.  Until, the day that I realized that my herbs have flourished and I have been able to cook with fresh herbs all summer long.  I know that may seem like a small thing to be grateful for, but I LOVE being able to cook with fresh herbs right out of the garden!  Once I started rehearsing how grateful I was that I have fresh herbs to cook with, I soon forgot about the rest of my parched, cracked garden.  I could truly feel a shift in my heart.


You see, friends, God is able to work with a heart that is overflowing in an abundance of gratitude.  A heart that has been rehearsing ungratefulness and complaints has become closed off to the things of God.  God's nature and blessings won't flow naturally like a well rehearsed script if you've hardened your heart.  If you can sit down in a quiet place with a pen and paper and ask God to show you the blessings that He's given you, you might be surprised at how many things you are able to write down!


What things can you think of that God has done for you?  What blessings are you rehearsing today?  They can be small, like herbs in a garden or they can be huge blessings, like a child recovering from an illness.  Whatever they are, rehearse them, open your heart and let God pour Himself into you in the midst of any circumstance!  If you have something that you're thankful for that you'd like to share, leave a comment and share it with us.  You can also visit a wonderful blog "I Live in an Antbed" and share a post there!  I look forward to hearing from you!  I pray you discover a multitude of blessings from God to be grateful for!


From His Lap,

Water in a Dry and Weary Land

Today I went for a walk in the vineyard with my boy.  I could tell that he didn't want to go along (what 15 year old boy wants to hang with his mom) but he never complained once.  It has been near or over 100 degrees here for weeks and weeks.  We have been asked to voluntarily ration watering our yards and they recommend that we don't go out unless we absolutely have to be somewhere.  But I couldn't take one more day in the house, so I asked the boy to go with me...and he did.  He didn't complain.

Everywhere we looked, there were signs that nature was at war with the heat.  Some battles were being won, but mostly...not so much.  We could see where the pond had receded.  The fields were brown and most of the wildflowers had succumbed.  Every once in a while, we came across a pop of color.  Morgan sat on the dock over the pond waiting and hoping for a cool breeze that never came.  He didn't complain.

As we walked along, there were stiff brown spikes interspersed with live flowers, still clinging to life with everything they had in them.  I thought to myself, "Is that how God sees us?"  Life can get dry sometimes...can seem dull and barren, yielding no fruit.  Do we wither and dry up; become dead and useless?  Or do we go to where the water is and get drenched, get filled up? He wants us to come to Him in quiet moments and just be still, or sing to Him, or let Him minister to us.  That's how we get watered and have our roots grow deeper in Him.  And that's how we keep our color and vibrancy.  Even when our circumstances don't seem to be perfect, we can still be fruitful, still be full of color and life.  

I watched my boy as we walked today.  He was full of life, full of richness and joy.  He examined the jewel toned grapes that looked strangely beautiful hanging next to brown lifeless leaves.  He walked and posed for my endless picture taking and laughed with me.  He didn't complain.


As I walked behind him and watched, I thought "I hope as he grows older and life gets harder and responsibilities take their toll, that he remembers Who he can go to to get water and life.  I hope that his color doesn't fade with time and he spends moments with the One who can fill him up again and renew his days.  I hope he remembers not to complain."  Those were my thoughts for him.

My thoughts turned towards myself.  Just because I've lived and had pain and gone through much, doesn't mean I have to be lifeless and dull.  I will continue to go to Him and drink Him in and be full of life and  color.  Life is rich if you allow Him to fill you.  So I walked some more, with my boy...and I didn't complain.


From His Lap,