Monday, May 16, 2011

That Greener Grass is Astro Turf

Over the years, there were many times, as a mom that I thought "the grass was always greener on the other side."  You know, other mom's kids were more well behaved, their homes were cleaner, their income higher, and their husbands more attentive.  Well, now that my kids are grown and I actually have time to spend with those other moms, I've discovered a secret.  What I thought was "greener grass" was actually astro turf!  That's right...astro turf!  We have all successfully made our lives look all put together and perfect.

Shopping for Easter hats
Now that five out of my six kids have flown the coup, I get to spend a girl's nights out every once in a while sipping a martini, talking, laughing and crying with my friends.  And it seems that they've struggled with the same "greener grass" thoughts that I had.  Wow, it turns out that women spend a lot of time thinking that every other mom and wife does it better and has it better.  We are probably just so busy going about the business of raising our kids and working and keeping our homes functioning, that we don't take the time to really talk to and listen to each other.  If we did, we'd find out that we're all pretty much living the same lives.

But as women, we feel the pressure to make it look like we have it all together...the perfect life, the greener grass.  It's hard for us to break down our walls and let people have a peek into what our lives are really like.  And that, to me, is so silly and so typically female!

Now that I have time to spend with my girlfriends, I know that they deal with the same issues and struggles that I do.  I think if I could start over again as a young wife and mother, I would make more time for friends.  Not out of selfishness and not because I don't think tending to our families is the most important thing.  But because sisterhood can add such strenth and a sense of humor to our lives.  It isn't like the Real Housewives of Wherever.  Girlfriends can be the glue that holds us together in our most hectic and crazy times.

In my case, with six children, (and I have a husband who helps exceptionally) I found myself poured out and empty frequently.  I felt that my number one responsibility was the happiness and welfare of those kids.  And so, I neglected myself and thought that all those other moms were doing so much better than I was.  And now I find out...they thought the same thing about me.  How ironic.  How much better of a wife and mom would I have been if I had taken the time to get filled back up?

If I could give any advice to young moms, I would say that if you take time for yourself with good friends, then you will come back to your family refreshed and full and knowing that you're not doing such a bad job!  Don't worry about the grass on the other side of the fence.  Just know that you are doing the best that you know how to do and don't be afraid to ask for help and support when you feel you need it!  And for heaven's sake, don't forget to laugh until you cry with your friends!

6 comments:

  1. Love it! It's so important to create a happy you. How can you give "happy" when you don't know what it feels like?

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  2. Another version of 'The Grass is Greener' -
    illustrated: http://www.napkindad.com/2011/02/grass-is-always-greener.html

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  3. Yahoo! That's awesome, Marty!

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  4. Transparency! We all need to be living it. What are we all so afraid of?!??!
    Dianne

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  5. I agree with you 100%! Everything that you wrote. I have worked with hundreds of women over 20 years and find that we have so much in common and we need each other so much. Thank you for this beautiful post :)
    Nicole

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  6. Thank you, Nicole! "Sisterhood"!!!!!
    Erin

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Thank you for giving us a little nugget of truth from your heart!

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