Live Life by Design

I'm reading a book called "What's It Like to be Married to Me?" by Linda Dillow.  In the book, she asks wives to go through an exercise where they imagine their own funeral.  The reader is supposed to picture her husband getting up and speaking about his wife and the marriage that they had.  It really makes you think about whether you live your life as a wife, on purpose or by default. 

So often in life we get so busy, things get so hectic, that we don't even remember our priorities.  People and things that should hold places at the top of our list of priorities are easily shuffled to the bottom, because we think they will "understand" or we fully intend to get around to them later.  We like for our family and friends to think that we are juggling all things well; our relationship with the Lord, our husbands, our kids, our friends, our jobs.  But the truth is, we sometimes put the most important people at the bottom of the list, hoping they won't notice or mind.

But life seldom manages to be not hectic or fast paced.  What then?  What do our actions say to the ones who are waiting for a glance, a touch, a moment of intimacy with us?  We may get used to putting loved ones at the bottom of the list, but they surely never do.  I really began to think about the title to this book "What's it Like to be Married to Me?"  It forced me to ask some really uncomfortable tough questions of myself.  Does my husband always see me come home from work at the end of a long stressful day, not willing to cook dinner or go for a walk with him?  On the weekends, do I give him a long list of things that only he can do, even though he's had a tough week, himself?  When he's in the middle of talking to me and one of our grown children or a friend calls, do I take the call and forget that he was even talking to me?  When he wants to be intimate, do I think to myself, "My God, doesn't he even care that I had a long tough day and I'm not in the mood"?

My husband is the most important human being in my life.  When we are treating each other with kindness, respect, affection and attention, that is the best gift that we can give our children.  That is what will make our kids feel loved the most!  We can choose to live life by design, on purpose; to picture life from the end instead of from the beginning.  What will the people who mattered most to us say?  Did I purposefully give my husband, my children, my family, my friends, the place that they deserved in my life?

Don't think that I believe this is easy.  Living life by design, on purspose, instead of by default, takes work.  It takes committment and dedication.  And most of all, it takes selflessness.  But I also believe that if the ones I love can really feel that I am selfless towards them, it will come back to me one hundred fold.  When I find life getting really hectic or tough, I need to step back and examine who and what I am placing priority on.  Yes, there are times when I need to dedicate myself to a job or committment or appointment.  But I must always make sure my loved ones know that they are my priority.

What would I like my husband to say about me, about our relationship, our marriage, at the end?  What would I want him to be able to say were my best qualities?  Was I a good wife on purpose?  Did he feel loved and cherished by me? 

If we can just purpose in our hearts and ask the Lord to show us how, we can let our spouse know that above all else in this life (except for our relationship with the Lord), they mattered most to us! Most of the time (though there are exceptions), when one human being feels like they are the top priority to another human being, the rewards are endless and there are great times of sweetness to be shared!

From His lap,